Superhero

I've suspected for quite some time now that I might be a superhero and not even know it. I have superpowers. Quite a few, actually.

Superpower #1 is heightened hearing. Don't whisper from across the room; I can hear you. Don't play out of tune; I can hear you. Superpower #2 is heightened sense of smell. I don't wanna elaborate on this point, but I have been known to detect the presence of leaked gas from a bunsen burner or stove a good few minutes before everyone else. Superpower #3 is sensitive tastebuds. Put a new spice in my food and I will ask you what it is. I might even tell you what it is.

And this is evidence of Superpower #4...

... speed. 

All unidentified flying objects that choose to buzz close enough, do so at your own risk.

Beware the speeding hand of this reluctant superhero. Rawr.